We’re in the middle of a series at church called, From Church Hurt to Church Home, and man, it’s stirring up so much in my heart right now. My husband and I hold a deep passion to love people into healing and help restore hope in community. We’ve all been hurt, and most of us have been hurt by the church. We believe there’s value in acknowledging our pain and making room to process it, necessary even. But we also don’t want to camp out there or cling to our wounds because that can trick us into believing we have permission to quit church. And we simply can’t. There’s no biblical theology for that idea anywhere in scripture. We do see, emphatically however, that Jesus and the church are One. There is no other truth. He loves his Bride, relentlessly. He’s preparing a place for her now and is coming back to recieve Her, spotless and unblemished. And because of this holy and intimate love, it becomes our greatest desire to honor Him and live out the gospel. But it just plain hurts sometimes, and that’s real. People hurt us and we hurt people. But it’s okay. Because Jesus handles our messes pretty well.

Since this series began, I’ve been reading the letters to the seven churches in Revelation. Chapters one, two and three are so interesting because first, we get the most descriptive unveiling of the resurrected Jesus than anywhere else in the Bible. Then he takes the time in all of his glory to tell John to write specific messages filled with affirmations and rebukes to each church in the seven provinces in Asia.

These passages tell us he’s talking to the “angels” of the churches. Or messengers. So although we’re dealing with some harsh words, he’s not talking to the church members this way, he’s addressing the pastors, specifically. I’m troubled but also intrigued by this, so I can’t help but take a closer look.

Peter Scazzero says in his book, The Emotionally Healthy Leader, “The first and most difficult task we have as leaders is to lead ourselves. Why? Because it requires confronting parts of who we are that we prefer to neglect, forget, or deny.”

We also have a legitimate inner conflict. Because love covers. And we long to do that well. As believers we need grace and need to give grace. We forgive. We deal with each other gently. We turn the other cheek. We’re not to judge. And none of this becomes untrue as we dive into this exploration of healthy community. But we also can’t ignore what we see in Revelations 1-3.

Jesus is correcting his Church. Period. We also get a sobering glimpse into the pressures and persecutions that will come against the Bride in the last days. I don’t think we have any other choice but to pay attention. And as tempting as it is to get preoccupied with the details of how the end will play out, we can’t forget that Revelation is much more about the man behind the details.

There are such beautiful affirmations and prophetic implications throughout these chapters. So much so, we couldn’t get through them in a lifetime. But his strongest rebukes were for three things: passivity, immortality, and idolatry (greed). And he’s correcting us for compromising in these areas.

One thing we must remember when we’re the ones being corrected is, correction is not rejection. He disciplines us because he loves us. When the Lord corrects us it’s because he’s contending for our greatness and for our liberty. That we would walk in all that God has ordained for us. And that we would make choices that God would call great. And that he would agree with our choices.

“We matter. The choices we make matter. Every choice to forgive, to be kind, to be authentic, to open up our world and tell our secrets. These things change the cosmos. And not just inside you, but inside this whole created universe that we dwell within.” – Excerpt from The Heart of Man

What we do matters. But who we are matters much more. He’s coming back for a church worldwide that has kept herself as a prepared Bride. Spotless and full of glory, a church after His own heart. But this doesn’t just magically happen. He calls upon leadership who are intentional about cultivating these values and imparting them to God’s people. And these are things the resurrected Christ took time to highlight and talk about when he appeared to John on the island of Patmos. We simply can’t afford NOT to pay attention to what He had to say. It’s remarkable.

In chapter 2 verse 20, we hear of a woman named Jezebel. She became a leader in the church, she was given authority and taught that immorality was okay and was leading many astray. Jesus actually gave that church a powerful promise and said, “If you overcome that spirit, I’ll give you authority over the nations for a thousand years.” The significance of this is more than what meets the eye. He’s not telling them to overcome their unbelief and be born again, they’re already born again. He’s exhorting them to overcome the spirit of immorality, to be faithful, and not to compromise.

It’s not hard to see the parallels between the 7 churches addressed in Revelation and the church today. Passivity, immorality, and greed are still choking us, especially here in the West. And there’s no doubt about it, the church has real issues, but Jesus calls us His Bride. He assures in chapter one that He’s holding us in His hand. And He’s passionate about the one He loves. Many of us want to see change in the church, but there’s a huge difference between our own selfish motivations based in personal preference and true biblical convictions. And there’s wisdom in knowing the difference.

Job 5:17 says, “Behold happy is the man whom God corrects, therefore do not despise the chastening of the Almighty. For He bruises, but He binds up. He wounds, but His hands make whole.”

God calls His leaders to act differently. We’ve been entrusted with His most precious possession, His Bride. We can’t afford to not carry this responsibility with fear and trembling. No title and no position exempt us from the need of true accountability. Are you surrounded by a team who can speak into your life? Do you allow yourself to be truly known? None of us outgrow the need to be poured into. If we have a team around us that won’t call us out, then we have the wrong team. It’s hard work, and painful even, but living with an exposed heart and welcoming the voices of my trusted mentors and co-laborers are vital for keeping me on a safe path.

Francis Chan said in Letters to the Church, “ Joy comes as we stand among those Jesus has redeemed and get lost in a sea of worship, becoming fully a part of something sacred. Gathering with the Church should lead us to holy ground.”

A healthy church is a group of believers committed to doing the arduous work of community and getting along, even when it hurts. And the health of the community begins with the health of the leaders. May we not despise the hard stuff. It’s all part of the process.

Love covers. Love corrects. God is Love.

And Jesus and His Bride are One. Amen.

Most of you know, my dad is recently recovered from a bad case of Covid, and doing really well. We’re kind of blown away by all the love and prayers given when he needed them most. Thank you seems like too weak of an expression for our gratitude.

I’m going to share a personal story. And I want to give a bit of a disclaimer to begin. You might say I’m more open about my life than others, and I think that’s fair to say. But what you may not know is that I’ve felt a strong nudging from the Spirit to share in a more public way starting about 7 years ago when I was still single. I’ve wrestled with this for a long time and even questioned it. If it seems easy for me, it’s definitely not. The internet is a scary and judgmental place. So saying yes to that call is inviting both love and hate. Yet I do, because I have a deep conviction to. This is something both my husband and mentors know about me, and have blessed. So considering that, I’ll get back to my story.

About a month before my dad was hospitalized, I hadn’t talked to him for several months which hasn’t been uncommon most of my adult life. Living without the presence of one of your parents much of your life can create surprising triggers when you least expect them. I was in my car early one morning on my way to work at the church. I was alone, and it was around 8:30 am. Listening to a song, it made me think of my dad and I got emotional rather quickly. As tears began to fall, I started praying for him. I was kind of shocked at how wrecked I was. I’m a crier anyway, but I just lost all control and couldn’t even understand the depth of pain it brought to the surface that ordinary morning. I went ahead and pulled over because I had to let this wave of grief roll through and gather myself. As I cried and prayed (and by praying, I mean mostly just sobbing) the Lord whispered to me, “Is there anything I haven’t given you?” I was so surprised by this question. But I mustered through my tears, “No, Lord.” I continued crying as I pondered what He asked…then He asked me again, “Is there anything I haven’t given you?” In that moment I truly didn’t understand but I submitted, “No, Lord… there’s nothing you haven’t given me.” And as soon as I answered Him the second time, I felt so intensely the Spirit say, “Then release him.”

Now this ushered in a sense of shock and even more buckets of tears. I was initially confused because I knew in my heart I had forgiven long ago. I thought I had done the soul work and laid down my expectations and desires and truthfully believe I love and accept him as he is. So I wasn’t aware of anything that needed “released.” But in submitting to God’s infinite wisdom, I began to make that my confession and I said over and over, “I release him. I release him, Lord. I release him.”

Jesus is so patient and kind. He sat with me for a while in all my big feelings. When the storm in my heart settled a bit, I heard Him one last time. He gently said, “I want you to tell him he was a good father.” My make-up was already done for the day but now I was starting from ground-zero again and in a weepy mess. My thoughts went wild. WHAT?!!! Why? Why would you tell me to do that? SO. MANY. THOUGHTS. But in the holy sanctuary of my Ford, Escape, the Lord reminded me, as he had before, that my dad gave us the best of himself. He wasn’t an evil father who withheld any love or good from us. He was a man with only a cup to pour out, and I was a daughter with a gallon to fill up.

The Lord, in His goodness, keeps inviting me to a more abundant life, free from the weight of heartache, bitterness and void. And He never fails in setting up opportunities to provide the love and grace He’s always provided me. So I knew in that moment of resounding clarity that my answer was an absolute Yes! So I asked the Lord for an opportunity to see or talk to my dad. Low and behold, not even a week later, we received something he needed in the mail, and were able to get a hold of him, and just like that, I rode with my mom to drop it off the next day.

I met him in the street that evening right after the sun had set. It was so good to see his face and know he was alive and well. We hugged and said the normal greetings and then, when I had his attention, I looked him in the eyes and said, “I want you to know you were a good dad. You were a lot of things I needed and I appreciate everything you’ve ever done for me.” His eyes were wider than I ever remember them. There were some solemn moments of silence and space. Then he said, “I never knew what I had until it was gone.” It took a lot for us both to keep it together, or so it seemed, but we did somehow. Even though a little awkward, he continued on to more comfortable ground and told me about his health and what he’d been up to. He quickly wrapped it up and back into the house he went.

About 3-4 weeks later I got a call from a nurse at St Francis letting me know my dad had been admitted the night before and wasn’t in good condition. The next 3 days that followed were a blur and I was told to prepare for the worst case scenario. The last conversation I had with him before his stability plummeted, he asked me to tell everyone I could and for prayer. I sensed in my spirit his request was a deep soul cry for someone to care. I did so immediately, yet his condition took even another plunge. But only 24 hours after that, we dared to hope in what was nothing short of a miraculous turn around. Dad was at the highest level of oxygen they can give before intubation when his body stabilized and even began to etch closer every few hours to normal levels.

This terrible case of Covid-19 is only one of a few brushes with death my dad has lived through. And I shared all of this to ask that you would pray for him again, but from my heart this time. You see, the Lord’s given me dreams about His plans for my dad. Good, good plans. And with every snare of the enemy I watch him overcome, I can feel some kind of fierce war cry from within start leaning in harder and praying more boldly for the soul of the man who brought me into this world. So I invite you to pray with me tonight, as I pray for not only mine, but for all the ones we carry promises for. It’s good and healthy to remind Jesus (but mostly ourselves) of the ones He’s named and called His own. It’s a powerful practice to remember who God sent His very own Son for. We are here for much more! And in this unique moment in time, I can see the world as a stage being set for possibly the greatest move of God’s Spirit the world has ever seen.

Father God promised Jesus everything. Jesus asked for us…and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it! Amen.