I seen my brother in my dream last night and was never able to go back to sleep.

In my dream, Cam and I bought a house (one of my hearts desires) with more room than we ever imagined, enabling us to host people. Matter of fact, there were a couple people we knew there who would soon move in with us. A true answered prayer.

Some family and friends gathered to come see the place and bless our home. It wasn’t a house warming party, we hadn’t moved in yet, just an opportunity to pray over it.

As we walked outside, one of my cousins was getting married. We moved right into her reception. As I walked around enjoying the moment gathered there with my family I seen Anthony standing, leaning onto a tall table with his arms in front of him. He was dressed in all white, but looked like himself. Looked as though he had white sneakers on, white jean shorts, and a white T-shirt on. Yet his shirt was a little different. It had a beautiful navy blue and soft pink floral pattern on it, and the flowers had dimension. There he was just standing there taking in the moment, looking more peaceful and radiant than ever.

Knowing that my glimpse of my brother was just that, a glimpse of heaven, I run toward him without any trepidation or hesitancy and reach my arm out saying, “ANTHONY!” as if to grab hold of him before it was too late. My voice full of tears, desperation and longing.

When I reached out he grabbed my hand and had a big smile on his face, and as soon as he touched me he began to grow taller. When he grabbed my hand I was shocked because I just wasn’t sure if I would be able to touch him. But not only could I touch him, I instantly kissed his hand and said, I love you. I love you. I love you. Tears flowing.

Our moment was short, he had to leave. He was also growing in stature and brightness as he walked. But right before he let go of my hand, he looked down at me one more time and there were tears in his eyes. Our gaze into each others eyes was brief, but locked and very real. The love and affection between us was palpable. Then he let go and I watched him disappear.

My heart was so curious, even achy. As I watched him walk away I was wondering in my heart…why was he crying? I thought there was no pain in heaven?

And in that moment, somewhere between sleeping and waking, somewhere between the now and the not yet, I heard Jesus voice as I woke up.

“That wasn’t pain, Stephanie. ONLY LOVE.”

I’ve been up pondering, crying and writing since around 3. In absolute awe. Can you imagine a reality where the only tears we’re able to form are those of love? A reality so pure, pain is divorced from our deepest emotions and tears don’t even have the same meaning? A reality where we’re made whole and fully transformed, yet still true to our very essence, finally and forever?

I can’t either. But it’s coming.

And I thank God for this great hope and assurance. Thank you Lord for a glimpse into glory…during Holy Week…days before we celebrate and remember the Resurrection.

You have my heart, Lord. The veil of separation is so thin, Hallelujah.